How To Honour Your Cyclical Nature In A World That Doesn't

The audio for this post is not a direct read, it’s an extended conversational version of these thoughts. I’d recommend giving it a listen if you enjoy reading this post!

How the f*ck are we meant to live cyclically in a world that doesn’t even recognise our cyclical nature?

That is the question of today’s post.

When I speak to people about practising Menstrual Cycle Awareness (MCA) and honouring their cycle rather than fighting against it as the guiding principle in reducing menstrual suffering, I’m often met with “but that just isn’t realistic for me!?”

So if you too feel like living in alignment with your menstrual cycle feels like an impossible task, this post is for you.

Because it’s true! Life gets in the way sometimes. As much as we plan, sometimes our period comes late, an unexpected family emergency happens, or we simply can’t coordinate giving that talk when we’re ovulating.

The reality is we don’t live in a world that recognises the menstrual cycle as the absolute powerhouse it is. We live in a society shaped by a patriarchal structure that prioritises linear productivity and sees cyclical rhythms as inconvenient or unimportant. We live in a world that stigmatises, shames and pathologises the menstrual cycle.

The reality for many of us is if we said to our boss “I can’t come in for the next 3 days, I’m on my bleed”, it would be met with confusion and dismissal.

We live in a world that prioritises productivity at all costs, and giving ourselves what we need, particularly in inner winter/menstruation, doesn’t really pair up well with that.

And yet, reclaiming our personal power and choosing to live in sync with our cycle and honour its wisdom as much as possible is the first step to shifting how society views the menstrual cycle - aka tending your own garden first is powerful af.

So how can we navigate the tension between the desire to live cyclically and the realities many of us face living in a linear world?

1% Shifts

When people start practising MCA there can be a huge amount of internal pressure to do it “right” and to radically change everything about their life.

Sometimes this leads to an enthusiasm that is great but also has a shadow side, such as putting pressure on ourselves to get it right, slipping into perfectionism, or feeling like we’ve failed if we can’t live 100% in sync with our cycle. On the flip side it can leave people feeling disheartened at the reality of not being able to change their lifestyle how they’d like to.

This was something I experienced at the start of my journey.

I would get SO stressed out about resting enough and clearing my calendar enough so that I could fully experience my bleed.

I would be so set on carving out time to listen to my luteal truth that it became a source of stress!

I’d beat myself up for not feeling social enough, or doing the right things when I was ovulating.

The danger with an all-or-nothing mindset like this is it very quickly spirals into yet another way to put pressure on ourselves to be perfect. Yet another way to tell ourselves we aren’t doing enough.

I want to stress here that this is a place where compassion comes into play. You don’t have to be perfect. It’s not about radical, all-or-nothing shifts.

What I have come to see over my many years of practising menstrual cycle awareness and listening to the messages my cycle is trying to bring me is that your cycle really doesn’t give a shit about you being perfect.

It’s not keeping tabs on whether you had just the right amount of rest in winter or if you did the right type of meditation for the day of the cycle you’re in. It’s not your toxic ex giving you an ultimatum: “change your entire life and live 100% in sync with me, or suffer the consequences!!”

It’s the intention to connect that really counts.

And this is where the idea of making 1% shifts comes in.

Take what you wish you could do - i.e. take the entire day off work and wander off into the woods to bleed in peace - and figure out a way to give yourself just 1% more of that.

The power of these small shifts should not be underestimated.

They add up over time.

A 1% shift towards more rest each time you bleed means in a year’s time, you’ll be at an entirely new normal.

A 1% shift each day towards tuning in to your cycle and giving yourself what you desire that day adds up to create incredibly powerful shifts.

I’ve seen it in myself and the people I work with.

If you can’t change what you’re doing, change how you’re doing it

The reality is, whilst we are living in a patriarchal world that doesn’t acknowledge the need to live cyclically, we can’t always live as in sync with our menstrual cycle as we might like.

Sometimes we simply can’t give ourselves even 1%.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you have to give a talk at work when you’re on your period or your ovulation is delayed and you end up premenstrual on that romantic holiday you had booked.

So the question then becomes: how do we honour our menstrual cycle whilst continuing with the responsibilities we hold in life? While we can’t always control our external circumstances, we can reclaim our internal power.

How you do things is just as important as what you do.

Let’s say most mornings you leave for work or the school run in a rush. You’re sipping your coffee whilst scrambling to put your shoes on and where the fuck did you put the car keys?!

When you’re menstruating you might not be able to avoid leaving the house, but you can choose to leave the house with more intention. Slowing down. Choosing not to multitask. Taking a conscious breath and letting your shoulders drop as you work.

Go about your responsibilities and tasks with the energy of menstruation.

For me, a huge example of this is social events.

If a social event ends up when I’m on my bleed - a time I now usually spend largely alone - I am very conscious of how I go into that event.

I’ll make an extra effort to not mask.

I allow myself to be a little quieter and show up with a slightly more subdued energy.

If someone asks, I tell them I’m on my period (yes, even men or strangers, because I truly believe we need to normalise talking about being on our period!)

Whatever this looks like for you, give it a go. You’ll be surprised at how effective it is!

MCA is called a practice for a reason

It does not require perfection.

It is just as effective for those running a busy household as it is for hippies living solo in a yurt.

Practising MCA allows you to find out what living in sync with your menstrual cycle looks like for you and your life.

It’s crucial to remember that the practice of MCA is fluid. Just as our cycles fluctuate, so too will our ability to honour them in different seasons of life. This means that there will be times when your cycle can’t be prioritised, and that’s okay. It’s about doing the best you can in the moment.

And I want to leave you with an invitation…

Push the edges of what feels comfortable to ask for. That might mean asking your partner to take over dinner duties, requesting a more flexible work schedule, or simply saying no to plans so you can rest. Whatever it is, let yourself imagine what just a little more support could look like - and ask for it.

So often we avoid giving ourselves that 1% because we’re scared to ask for support or gaslight ourselves into thinking it’s not important. We worry what people might think.

This can feel like a radical act, especially in a world that’s conditioned us to give, give, give without receiving. But this is how we begin to dismantle the structures that keep us from honouring our needs. And I get that, I’ve been there too.

But if we want to see a world that accepts the menstrual cycle and women’s bodies as they are, we must start to demand more. It might not be fair, but it has to start with us.

Whether that’s asking your husband to take the kids for an hour or taking a day off sick, you are doing incredibly important work by honouring the needs of your cyclical body, mind, and energy.

If you’d like to learn how to get started with Menstrual Cycle Awareness for PMS or PMDD relief, you might like my free Premenstrual Survival Pack which you can access here.